Marked


Everyone is marked in some way or another. I have freckles... tons of them, as well as marks on my teeth, small scars, and stretch marks. A lot of flipping marks, everywhere, and I wish I could change them daily. Nothing makes me more vulnerable than my marks. I have never heard anyone say they are attracted to redheads, let alone a redhead with freckles - (Besides Ed. He was a very drunk man who approached me on the sidewalk and did not know about personal space.. And I am sorry Ed.. you shouldn't have touched my hair.) - it's just not a thing. Society doesn't see it as a beautiful thing, unfortunately. We are taught to want something else, something that is deemed as perfect. To society, marks or "blemishs" are not perfect.

Every single day I tell myself I am not good enough. I am not good enough for a ripped athlete. I am not good enough for the boy with good hair. I am not good enough for the boy sitting in his room alone every day working to make his future amazing. I am not good enough for anyone but myself. I see girls with their perfectly tanned skin, which to me looks silky smooth. I see girls with perfect teeth, and I instantly tell myself they are better than me. I never skip a beat. It's bound to enter my mind. Every. Single. Day. I compare myself to other women every day, and I always lose.


But after the first instant of these negative thoughts, the strong side of me tells me to shut the hell up and I will tell you exactly why. Yes, most of us have some sort of mark that makes us paranoid. Yes, we know when someone is looking at our mark(s), and it is one of the biggest things that we let bring down our self-esteem most.


The girl with white marks on her teeth? She can barely give a genuine smile because she is too scared to show her flaws and when she does smile, it is one thing that destroys her confidence in a heartbeat. When she speaks she tries not to open her mouth too much and when people ask what the mark is, it destroys her a little bit more each time. She is allowing a mark to ruin the most beautiful thing on a person; her smile.

The girls with stretch marks on their breasts, sides, thighs, stomachs, or butts? They are fearful of showing any man their body because they might be turned away by something so imperfect. They have to keep their marks in mind when buying specific clothing in order to avoid showing them to others. To them there is nothing "silky smooth" or perfect about stretch marks. They are afraid of revealing something that happened naturally.
 

The girls with freckles covering the span of their skin? They have social anxiety every time anyone even looks at them, because they are paranoid what each person might be looking at. They wear clothes to disguise their freckles and have to take every ounce of confidence to put on a bathing suit. Comments about how many there are is an extremely expected thing as well. They are afraid to stand out.

The girls with scars on their bodies? They cannot go out in a bathing suit in the summer without feeling paranoid about if someone is looking at them. They attempt to conceal them with makeup to avoid any questions about how the scars got there or to avoid the lingering stares of people they KNOW are wondering what the scars are from.
You are marked and people want to know why, for some odd reason. 
I know I am not the only one who thinks this way and constantly compares myself to others, and I know nearly everyone has marks that lower their confidence. The negative thoughts will always be there, and there is no making them go away for good. But what makes you strong and confident, is your ability to tell yourself to shut the hell up. If you can diminish a negative thought with a more positive one, you have already won the war against the devil on your shoulder telling you you are not good enough. If you can tell yourself someone looks better than you in the first instant but then tell yourself that is a lie in the second, you are mentally strong enough to love and accept yourself the way you are. Why do we have to follow society's standards of what looks perfect? I think I look damn perfect the way I am with my unique marks because I am like no other person. I am special and I am perfect, I am worth it and I am good enough for others, and SO ARE YOU - remind yourself that daily. Our marks are perfection. 

xo McKenzie - My Darling Catastrophe

What marks impact your daily life and how do you embrace them?





5 comments:

  1. "I have never heard anyone say they are attracted to redheads, let alone a redhead with freckles".

    I understand the message you are trying to convey. However, you know this is not true, right? Actually, it's the opposite. People glorify it. It is literally a fetish.

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  2. I have only met one person who has admitted to liking it and he was very intoxicated. I am glad you shared that though, maybe I should be more open to talk about my hair! Thank you for your input, it's much appreciated.

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  3. I have just discovered your blog and it is amazing. I love the message you are sending to all girls with insecurities (Sadly I am one of those girls). This has truly impacted the way I see myself and I look forward to what you bring next to your blog. Keep doin you!

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    1. I am extremely flattered that my content speaks to you so well! I will keep attempting to reach people on all the levels that I struggle on as well - and I am sure you are an amazing person even if you might not see it sometimes! We all are. I look forward to giving you more great things to read. Thank you for following along!

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  4. Redheads are beautiful. I have personally heard many people express attraction for red heads. You are beautiful and brave for expressing your insecurities.

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